Natalie Daily — Same Bangs, Different Day

Like Speaks To Like

May 12, 2013

One of the most intelligent women in my life (that’s you Maid Marian), looked me square in the eyes, and said:

“You aren’t learning a lesson here. You are getting beat over the head with it.”

She was right.

And my head @#$%ing hurt.

Basically, I’ve been so focused on my fears…and so obsessed with my fear…I’ve managed to attract the things I fear most.

I have literally drawn these things (and people) to me. Like a magnet.

Before I attempt to replace the fear. And focus on what I really want (rather than what I don’t want or cannot control). Before I can comfortably let go of this heavy cargo. I have to share one last terrifying thought.

I’m afraid I make faces ridiculous enough to go on greeting cards. Either that, or I had a daughter. And I didn’t know I was pregnant or gave birth.

Please see example included below.

Now, I’m letting go…

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There Are No Words

May 6, 2013

Couple things…

1. I hope you read about Aiden. If you didn’t, please read his story (just click on his name) before you read the rest of this.

2. A few seconds ago, I wanted to be a mother. For a hot minute, I wanted to know what it would feel like to love an amazing little person the way Aiden’s parents must love him. If that kid can bring me to my knees…I mean…literally take my breath away…I can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like to be his mother, or his father. There must be nothing like it in this whole world. That being said, this feeling has only come over me twice. I’ll never tell you about the first time. And it comes and goes pretty quickly. No need for excitement or concern. I’ve already come (back) to my childless senses.

3. I’ve decided I’m going to try my best to stop glaring at children that suddenly/publicly burst into tears. It’s not easy to leave me speechless. But I was muted several times over the last few days (ok, the last few weeks-ish). I was simply left…without words. And when I couldn’t, or didn’t, use my words…there were waterworks. Now I understand why toddlers do it. I totally understand where they’re coming from. It’s a form of expression. We’ve got to get it out one way or another. Sometimes, our (meaning the infants and I) only choice is to implode. Example: I lost my lid when I watched the video below.

4. Aiden’s photo and story didn’t really do his “brave heart” justice.

5. Watch this…

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Brave Heart

May 1, 2013

I was talking to Bob a few days ago.

And I was sobbing (heart see: sleeve).

I told him I was tired. I was tired of feeling so much. And fighting so hard. I told him I thought I’d never cross the finish line. I felt like I was never going to come out on the other side.

So much has happened the last few years (both good, and bad). I recognize I’m supposed to be learning some epic life lessons. I get that I’m being given the opportunity to become whole, again (maybe whole for the first time). But the process has been, and continues to be, painful (to say the least).

Despite the ways (both good, and bad) Bob has been impacted by all of this living and learning – he was understanding (Bob typically is).

Then he told me a story.

Which made me cry even harder.

Nice work Bob.

I cut and paste the story Bob shared with me below. It’s best coming straight from the sources.

From: Randy | Runnin’ for Rhett
Sent: Wednesday, April 24, 2013 3:27 PM
Subject: R4R | Capital City Classic | Great story

Hey guys….I’d like to share a story that was sent to me earlier today from teacher/coach Mark at Valley Oaks Elementary in Galt.

I met Aiden at the start line….and had NO IDEA that he’d do the entire 2.62 miles. I’m so proud of him.

Please read the note below…and then open the photo of Aiden crossing the finish line, nearly 3 hours after the start of the race. CLASSIC!

Changing lives….changing families. Go RHETT!

Randy

Executive Director & Rhett’s Dad

Runnin’ for Rhett Foundation

www.runninforrhett.org

From: Mark

Sent: Wednesday, April 24, 2013 10:16 AM

Subject: cool stuff

Hey guys- first of all, thank you very much for the wonderful opportunity that you provide for all of the families in r4r- what a fun training period capped off by a great run on a beautiful day! I have a story for you:

At the fall Run Because You Can race, a 5^th grader named Arianna participated for the first time in r4r. I was really proud of her because I had never seen her so active in my PE classes as she was in r4r- she really took to it and did a great job! After the race, her mom was sitting by one of the trees in Crocker Park and had tears in her eyes- she talked about how proud she was of her daughter and also expressed her hope that her son Aiden could run one day too. Aiden has cerebral palsy and uses a walker to move around campus- when I have him in PE, some days are easier than others for him to participate, depending on his strength and mobility. I was thinking it would be neat for him just to come out and see what it is all about- him running was a stretch in my mind.

At the spring CCC last weekend, as Arianna was checking in to get her bib, the family let me know that Aiden wanted to run too- we grabbed a shirt for him and his dad got him all set- I didn’t know how far he would go or how long he would last, and it really didn’t matter- to see him with his dad and all of the other runners was awesome in itself! As we started, Randy said hi to him and he was on his way.

After the race was over, I was back in Elk Grove at a baseball practice when my phone rang- it was 11:20 and his mom wanted to let me know that Aiden had just finished. Some of the competitive runners took pictures with him and presented him with a medal- just one of the many memories he has of that day!

I’m writing this because I’m pretty sure that Arianna and Aiden don’t “move into life” without Runnin for Rhett. When I think about their family’s experience that day, I think of words and thoughts such as IMPACT, ACCOMPLISHMENT, FULFILLING, FAMILY, TOGETHERNESS, WILL, SPIRIT… my guess is Rhett was smiling looking, down on him crossing the finish line.

Thx again- mark