The Shallow End

January 30, 2012

Before you read any further, I need you to take a look at this pic…

pretty red polka dot swimsuit with tulle for babies

Photo Courtesy of the Stanfield Family

Admit it. You’re in love with her. How could you not be? I don’t even like babies and I’m sort of obsessed with her sweet face. I actually giggle (yes, giggle) every time I peek at this photo. It makes me that happy. I can’t help but wonder if she has more clothes I’d like to borrow. I wish she could talk. I wonder if she has any idea how lucky she is (this little doll came from ridiculously good genes – her mom and dad are stupid hot). And…above all else, I want to take a bite out this child’s perfectly plump little thighs.

There is simply no denying…Piper is beyond beautiful. The kid has even got a cute name.

I only have one problem with this picture (and it is, in no way, Piper’s fault).

NOBODY thought this photo was anything but incomparably cute. Right?

IF this was a photo of me in the exact same attire – it would NOT have had the same effect on you.

My question is…why the @#$% not?

At what age did having (and flaunting) thighs as remarkable as Piper’s become less acceptable and/or amazing? I know I have them. You know I have them. So…when did I start insisting on covering them up? And when did the world stop accepting that my thighs and I might be able to give those polka dots a run for their money? Piper looks happy and healthy in tulle to me. And if there’s one thing I know for sure…she won’t be nearly as happy in Spanx (no disrespect to those slimming intimates).

I may change my mind tomorrow. But, tonight I am inspired by this picture of Piper. I’ve decided – if this bathing suit showed up on my front porch – I’d rock it. Of course, I’d only rock it in my size (I’d like to spare all of us from one intense camel toe). And I’d only rock it with (a lot of) vodka on the rocks, pumps and a spray tan…but I’d rock it.

I dare you to invite Piper and I to your next pool party.

We’re going to own the shallow end.

P.S. THANK YOU Ashley & Wyatt for letting me use a photo of your beautiful baby girl to lead into a self-deprecating blog post about my own thighs. And just to be clear, “stupid hot” is a compliment. I typically try to avoid your Facebook pics. You guys are just way too good looking. This photo was, obviously, unavoidable.

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Danielle January 30, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Thank you Natalie…. This was a fantastic way to start my Monday! I will be sending you the suit, is red the preferable color? Would a dozen cupcakes help…. Something to enjoy with the vodka!:)

Reply

Natalie February 1, 2012 at 6:23 am

So, I’ll take the cupcakes…but for the love of God…do not send me that suit.

Reply

Ashley January 30, 2012 at 4:39 pm

How do you do it?!!! You my friend are way too talented with words to have waited THIS long for a blog! I am peeing my pants right now and I want to forward this amazing thunder thigh analysis to all the women in my life! Lets declare today “National Celebrate the Body You Have Day”! Thats the world I want my daughter to grow up in! Can’t wait until the next post!

Reply

Natalie February 1, 2012 at 6:23 am

Ohhhh, thanks Ash. And honestly, I should be thanking you. Your daughter is stunning.

Reply

Carolyn January 30, 2012 at 5:19 pm

You can totally rock that bathing suit at my pool all summer long!

Reply

Natalie February 1, 2012 at 6:22 am

I just might, considering you are the only person on the planet that has actually seen me in a swimsuit since like 2001.

Reply

sarah January 30, 2012 at 11:34 pm

I use to have a suit like this when I was a little one! I was the envy of all the other toddlers at the time i’m sure!. It has been over 5 years since iv’e been seen or attempted to get into a swim suit. I really need to sort that out. Who wants to take me on holidays??!?!

Reply

Natalie February 1, 2012 at 6:22 am

You and me both sister. I loathe swim season…and I used to be a competitive water polo player. Go figure.

Reply

Amy January 30, 2012 at 11:52 pm

I love this. So much.

Reply

Natalie February 1, 2012 at 6:21 am

It’s amazing how cathartic a little (maybe not so little…hee hee) post about thighs could be. LOL.

Reply

beth February 1, 2012 at 2:22 am

love, love ,love this <3

Reply

Natalie February 1, 2012 at 6:21 am

Thank you for reading Beth. So glad you loved it. 😉

Reply

Trisha Menne (Wilson) February 2, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Love this! Thanks for the much needed chuckle 🙂

Reply

Leave a Comment