This Might Be Worse Than The Labia Post

February 28, 2013

One of my best friends was asked out on a date by a pretty cute guy.

I met him the night he asked her out.

We were both excited.

We felt like he had potential.

So they went to dinner.

And he showed her a picture of his penis before their server brought them the check.

Here are my thoughts…on that…

  1. Why would one store photos of their own genitalia on their phone? Unless they use said photos often, for instance – on first dates.
  2. Do men really believe women are turned on by the way a penis looks? Trust me fellas, we’re all glad our @#$% turns in. You don’t want to see our cervix.
  3. What kind of person can’t even finish a meal without showing their date a photo of their junk? She might have made out with you if you made it through dessert. Instead, she left you after the appetizer. Moron.
  4. Do women really fall for that? It must work on someone…or this fool wouldn’t keep that pic on his handheld device (pun intended).
  5. I’d kill to be present for a photo shoot like that. I do, but I don’t, want to know how one prepares for such an amazing glamour shot.
  6. If my friend would have been excited by that photo, would he have wanted to take her out again? Would that make her marriage material? Or not?
  7. Was he sober when he took that photo? It makes it that much better (better meaning worse) if he was.
  8. If this dude hands out photos of his stuff on the first date, what do you get if you make it to the second round? Video? Jesus.
  9. I suppose this is a double standard. He probably would have liked it if she had similar images stored on her phone, to hand out after the first course. But I don’t think I know any women that do that. I would not mind, at all, if that was the strategy one of my friends employed. But I don’t think we do that. I don’t think, on a whole, women do that. They don’t assume it’s ok to show you their lewd pics on the first date. Shouldn’t you at least wait until someone asks you to unveil your talent?
  10. What’s really sad is this isn’t even the worst date any of my friends have ever been on. They get more amusing than this. We’ve actually started giving each other zerberts, as adults, based on one story we heard. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.
I don’t have an appropriate photo to accompany this content.


{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Paul Lanning February 28, 2013 at 12:57 am

Dumbfounded. Not by you, by the sick, shallow bastard who gives guys a bad name. I don’t get it, and I’m a guy.

On the other hand, zerberts??


Natalie March 4, 2013 at 9:44 am

To be fair Paul, women are bat @#$% crazy. And bat @#$% crazy women like me…sincerely appreciate men like this…because blogging about him was F-U-N. And yes, zerberts. I’ll totally educate you one day. In the most harmless way possible.


Kristen Larson February 28, 2013 at 1:41 am

Serious question: was this date with Anthony Wiener?


Erin February 28, 2013 at 6:53 am

I am dying….


Marianne February 28, 2013 at 8:28 am

that is by far the best story! I would have loved to be a fly on the wall to see and hear how it all went down!


Natalie March 4, 2013 at 9:43 am

Me too Marianne. Me too. Although hearing the story from my pal – post date – was still pretty good.


Molly February 28, 2013 at 11:10 am

This is too awesome! But at least it made a funny story to share later, right? Great list, but No. 2 might be my favorite. Seriously, a penis is not a pretty thing.


Natalie March 4, 2013 at 9:42 am

Nope. Not pretty at all. Not even a little bit. LOL.


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