Opinions Are Like A$$holes

June 11, 2013

Everybody has one.

I also have one.

I have far more opinions than a$$holes (like I said, I only have one).

Here are a few of them (my opinions, not my a$$hole)…

Divorce is one of the ugliest legal acts in the book. And, regardless of who you think is or isn’t at fault (because it takes two to sink or swim a relationship), divorce should never be celebrated. Divorce is an ugly verb. And noun. Divorce is ugly all the way around. Divorce is the ugliest.

There are three “sides” to every story. The right side. The left side. And the middle (pretend it’s a side). The middle feels (to me) like the worst place to wade in any/every story. The next time I feel compelled to comment on a situation, I’m going to consider the right, the left AND the middle “sides.”

Life’s too short for low self esteem.

It is truly, and terribly, impossible to wholly love anyone or anything when you don’t love yourself.

The men in my life are teaching me, every day, that less really is more (especially via email and text). It took me a while to stop taking “K” personally (sometimes I still do). At least it was a response. No response is way worse than the 11th letter in the alphabet.

I prefer people that “throw plates.” Not literally. Figuratively – “throw plates.” You can’t “throw” your silence, or the energy it took you to shut down, or passive aggression…at a person. And I’d prefer to be “hit” in the ovaries with a large dish or bowl of the point you’re trying to make.

It’s not easy to be a business owner. Or a business partner. Or a boss. Or a dad. Or a son. Or a husband. Or a friend. Try being all seven. At the same time.

It only takes one opinion/a$$hole to…(insert your own opinion/a$$hole here).

Animals ease pain, even when they have terrible gas.

Common sense should be bottled and sold at Grocery Outlet.

It can be difficult to think before you speak (it’s obviously more difficult for some of us than others). But it can be more difficult to apologize when you DON’T manage to think before you speak.

I deserve the best friends in the world. And I have them. I hope you have them too (not mine, because they’re mine, I hope you have your own). You deserve the best friends in the world. Everyone deserves the best friends in the world.

I would rather be woken up by anybody other than a creditor. Well, almost anybody. Oh, and, it’s never a good idea to simply stop opening your mail. It seems like a better solution than it actually is.

It’s easy to say “mo’ money, mo’ problems” until someone steals your debit card number and the bank has to prevent you from personally accessing your own account. It does not work the same in reverse. “No money, no problems” is totally inaccurate.

It should be illegal to live anywhere in Sacramento without A/C.

It’s important to spell people’s names correctly. They appreciate it. I would argue that it’s even more important to spell people’s names correctly when you call yourself an editor, or journalist. I mean, I get that it’s easy to make mistakes. Mistakes are no big deal. It’s just not easy to call it a mistake when someone spells your name incorrectly – despite the fact that your first and last name are spelled properly in your email address – that you’ve been using to email them – and in the signature line of the emails you’ve been exchanging from the email address that utilizes your (properly spelled) first and last name. Say what you need to say. Use names as you see fit. But don’t spell them wrong when you clearly have access to the correct spelling. Because…you didn’t just spell my name wrong. You spelled my family name wrong. And if the PaulsEn family knew about it, they’d probably “throw plates” at your face.

Today, one of my best friends pointed out that I was mostly angry about the misspelling of my name because it was one of the only things I could actually control at that moment. She was right. She’s always right. It’s irritating. So, I kind of freaked out about my name. I kind of just did it again. I don’t care.

Rainbow Sherbet is the best. And the proper spelling is “sherbet” – not “shebert.” I also spent ten minutes trying to figure out if I should capitalize “sherbet.” I don’t know. Again, I don’t care. That’s a lie. I obviously cared. I just don’t care anymore.

I realize I sound angry, hurt, sick to my stomach…disjointed at best.

It’s because I am. I am all those things right now.

I’m also tougher than I look (and act).

Disjointed won’t always be the case.







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