The Break Up

October 18, 2012

I’m not surprised, at all, after being without words for such a painfully long time – my first words are for you…


Looking back, I know neither of us knew exactly what it meant to be “in business together.”

I know we knew it wouldn’t be easy. I know we never expected that.

But we weren’t prepared for the road ahead.

We really weren’t.

We had no idea we were going to have to go into business together to forge a friendship I believe, in my heart of hearts, is more important to us than our business ever was or would have been.

And we had no idea we were going to have to start a business for you to find your voice. You are one of the most beautiful women I have ever encountered Erin. Your voice should be heard (I’m sure your Ashley would agree). You had a voice when we met. But it’s so much louder now.

We also had no idea we were going to have to build a business together to discover what we really love, what we are really passionate about. We thought we knew. We obviously did not.

Sometimes, I think we held on too long. But it was so hard to let go. I’m still having a hard time with it. It is so hard to feel like we failed. It breaks my heart to feel like everyone believed in us, like we brought them along on this journey, and we let them down. I think about all of the people that supported us, that referred clients to us, that hired us, that trusted us, and I think about our work – that I am so incredibly proud of – then I think about it just going away. It literally hurts my heart.

Sometimes, I feel like I let you down. That hurts my heart too. It’s almost unbearable. I feel like I didn’t fight hard enough. I know our business could have been everything we dreamt about. Then I have to remind myself, we just didn’t want it bad enough. We were never meant to do this forever. We were meant to go in to business together…but we were only meant to learn and move on.

So now we know…

We know you love flowers (I think everyone has always known). And you don’t love to plan.

And we know I’m not sure if I really love planning anymore. We know I need to give that some thought.

And you knew. You knew I loved writing. You knew I was more passionate about it than anything else. And you had the guts to point it out before I was brave enough to tell you myself.

I know we are talented Erin. I know we deserve happiness and success (even on the days we don’t believe it ourselves). I’m counting on us not to let each other down. I’m counting on us to hold each other accountable. We promised each other we would. We have so much life left to live. We should live it doing the things we truly love. In fact, there should be no other kind of life…for us. For anybody.

And let’s face it – there aren’t a whole lot of people on this planet that would put up with us. There’s a good chance we’re going to end up together, again (with our cats). At that point, I want to be filthy rich and proud of all we have accomplished, together and apart.

I know we wanted it, bad. But, honestly, this turned out to be the best thing we never had…

I love you partner.

I love you (and your red hair) so much.

I will always love you the most.


P.S. I know we have both lost some weight since these photos (I swear), but I’m effing using them. Look how happy we are together. We will always be this happy together. Because you are always going to be part of my life. And you are never going to get rid of me (even when you start dating again). This is the best break-up. Ever. And, not to be a total downer…but Penny Lane was with us at this photo shoot. That means the world to me. Remember when she escaped before Laura’s wedding? Then you couldn’t drive at night. Jesus. Then I got a speeding ticket. Then some things froze that shouldn’t have (just to mention a few obstacles on that trip). I thought we were going to kill each other. LOL. I guess what doesn’t kill you really does…

Photo Courtesy of Penny Sylvia Photography

Photo Courtesy of Penny Sylvia Photography

Photo Courtesy of Penny Sylvia Photography

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Erin October 18, 2012 at 11:56 am

*sigh*…. I love you too partner… you have no idea how much. You are so right, we had no idea what was in store for us. BUT I wouldn’t have traded it for anything… (although you may want to trade that speeding ticket).


Ashley October 18, 2012 at 12:16 pm

You two were meant to be! This letter was so beautiful – it shows that your friendship can and will conquer it all! Cheers to what lies ahead for both of you!
Nat can you please write a book! I’m always waiting for your next blog!


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