You Get What You Need

August 7, 2012

This is a photo of my father on what looks to be (based on candle count) his 10th birthday…

He only lived to see 27 more.

He was only five years older than I am at this minute – when he passed away.

I forget, all the time, how young he was when he died. I forget, almost every day, how young my mother was when she lost him.

I just thought about the fact that I wake up every morning believing I still have plenty of time to live my life – then I wondered how he felt when he realized his was going to be cut so short. I felt like a spoiled little bitch for wasting any moment he (and my mother) had given me. I have wasted too many. I bet he would not have wasted any.

So…Happy Birthday (in 11 minutes) and Goodnight Dad(dy). This Rolling Stones jam is for you.

I don’t smoke weed (I really don’t). But I’m pretty sure you did. If you were here, I’d make an exception. We could watch The Big Chill and dance in the kitchen together (I know Dee would love that).

P.S. I’ll be sure to sneak a beer or two in for you tomorrow. I mean, that’s what any respectable Daddy’s Girl would do (no offense mom, everyone knows I’m sort of a Mommy’s Girl too).

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Ashlee August 8, 2012 at 8:55 am

Love this. Love you. <3

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Natalie August 11, 2012 at 8:19 am

Love you too lady. And I love Ev, even though I still haven’t seen him in the flesh. I know…

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Peggy Seitzinger August 8, 2012 at 9:21 am

Even though I didn’t get to meet your Daddy, knowing you and knowing Tom the way I do, I truly feel like I (almost) knew him. I like it when you kick your own ass for him, ’cause I think you’re right when you say that he would be pissed at you for taking anything in life for granted. Now, celebrate the day, because without him, there would be no you. 🙂

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Ashley August 8, 2012 at 9:38 am

this is a great one. so much love

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Natalie August 11, 2012 at 8:05 am

Oh Ash. I honestly don’t know what I’d do if Erin didn’t bring you into my life. I heart you two…and the friendship you have.

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Korbe Palmer August 8, 2012 at 10:23 am

Natalie,

My wife Traci lost her Father at the age of 15. He passed away unexpectedly at a very young age. Traci still struggles with this and I hope you don’t mind if I share this with her as I think you have a wonderful approach to handling this tragic experience. Your strength inspires many…trust me!

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Natalie August 11, 2012 at 8:03 am

Korbe – I love that you read my blog more than you will ever know. I definitely don’t mind if you share this with your wife, and I am so sorry to hear about her father. I hope she doesn’t think I’m a lunatic if she reads a few of these posts. I know you know I am…and for some strange reason, like me anyway. XO.

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Delores Paulsen August 8, 2012 at 11:02 am

I will never forget the LOVE this man brought into my life, he taught me the true meaning of Living, Loving & Laughing. I quote from Rick, “Little Momma we only get one chance to go around this life of ours so let’s make the most of it”. I often wondered how he knew his time would be short on this earth! He had no regrets when his time came except the fact he felt such a strong sense of guilt not being able to raise and see his daughter grow up or to leave me the task of raising her alone. With that said I know he would be so proud of her. Perfect Song choice and so true, I wanted MORE! I guess in a way I got more because of my precious daughter Natalie. Without her to share my life I don’t know where I would have gone. Today remember to tell those you Love how much they mean to you. I Love you Natalie so very much:) xoxoxox Stars N Moons

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Natalie August 11, 2012 at 8:01 am

Dee…one million kisses for you. 😉

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Donna Hayden August 8, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Dear Natalie,
As you know, I knew your dad. He was a great guy, and in heaven I know he is still the great man he was here on earth. He loved you dearly, as he did your Mother. I know only too well what it’s like to lose someone you love with all your heart. Will we ever understand why life is sometimes cut far too short, probably not. We should all remember to live our lives to the fullest. I know your dad did, and I know my dear husband Donnie did. Except for leaving the ones they both loved so much, they faced their destiny with dignity and grace. They left their legacy in the hearts of all who loved them. Your dad left his mark on this earth, he had you.
Love, Aunt Donna

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Natalie August 11, 2012 at 8:00 am

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AUNT DONNA. Thank you so much for this comment. It was as beautiful as all of the cards you have sent me over the years…

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