Never Say Never

February 14, 2012

movie promo picture of Justin Bieber, Never Say Never

Ten things Justin Bieber taught me over the weekend (yes, I watched the movie)…

  1. I would totally date Jaden Smith. If he was not 14 years old. Just to be clear – I know dating him is not legally an option. And I am ok with that (until 2016).
  2. Puberty is humiliating. I am so glad I’m past that point in my life. Jesus. Those poor little girls. Estrogen, acne and crushes are so confusing. I thought my first true love was Dylan McKay AND I plastered my bedroom walls with pictures of the Preferred Stock twins. Just shoot me.
  3. Bob cannot stand when people sag their pants. For some reason, it really gets under his skin. I am laughing as I type this. I’m not kidding. It SERIOUSLY bothers Bob when people sag their pants (even Justin Bieber).
  4. Singing is, and will always be, the one thing I wish I could do well.
  5. Justin Bieber is undeniably talented and beyond driven – but I still think his hair is dumb (although one might argue bangs are dumb) and I wish he’d bulk up. Actually, I don’t even know if that’s possible at his age. When do boys start looking like men? In their 30’s? Sorry boys. We “develop” way sooner than you do. And not typically by choice…or in the places we’d like. It’s awesome.
  6. I have to close my eyes when I see Miley Cyrus. I have no idea why the girl bothers me so much (other than the fact that she’s dating Gale, one of my Hunger Games boyfriends). I actually like her music, which annoys me even more…because I’m not only a hater; I’m also a hypocrite.
  7. I’m old. In Hollywood years, I’m a @#$%ing Brontosaurus (is that how you spell it?).
  8. All of this tween hating makes me wonder if anyone hates on me. And then I think how much worse it would be if I was famous. And then I think it’s funny that I actually think I’m still going to be famous. And THEN I think I’m insane. But I don’t really care. Obviously. I mean – I’ve been blogging about lady bits and now…Justin Bieber.
  9. I’d like to perform. On stage. At Madison Square Garden. Now I just need a talent. Or a baton. And an agent.
  10. I have spent an unnecessary amount of time loathing The Biebs. I’ll never swoon over him or his music, but that little dude is fearless. He’s doing things that terrify me…that terrify most of us. I can’t help but hope it’s not too late for me to dig deep enough to start doing some of those things now. I was admittedly entertained by his story and more than a little threatened by his ambition. Justin Bieber could, and has, run circles around me (and he’s not old enough to legally drive, vote or drink).

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Amy February 14, 2012 at 4:17 am

I teach high school, and I thank my lucky stars every day that I never, ever have to go through puberty again. Also, the sagging pants are…trouble.

Reply

Danielle February 14, 2012 at 12:11 pm

I actually had the baton but traded it in for two kids. That’s because I did not have the agent for guidance and to take my $$! I definitely recommend the agent! And I so agree with Bob on the saggy pants! Nothing but trouble……it’s like a cult for delinquents! Good thing my kids attend a catholic school where the dress code is strict but I invested in a staple gun, just in case they try to pull a fast one on their old momma!
Gotta run…..I think I hear Cyrus on my Pandora;)

Reply

Breanna February 14, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Hey… JB cut his hair annnnd I would totally date Jaden Smith bahah 🙂

Reply

Natalie February 18, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Does your dad know you are reading my blog? And if so…is he mad that you’re reading about labia (don’t tell him I said that)? I’ll try to write a few “PG” posts for you. Hee Hee. XOXO.

Reply

Leave a Comment